Thursday, November 12, 2015
Kc3 Homelessness Essay
Hawaii is a great attraction for many tourists due to its luscious environment, in fact so much, there is little to no space in hawaii for many people. Now because of rising population on a island as small as hawaii, homelessness also increases dramatically. Because so many tourists come to hawaii, even stay there, housing becomes more and more expensive. Because of this, many people cannot afford housing, so they tend to become homeless. But since there are so many homeless, they have almost nowhere to go, since the government keeps making laws, preventing them from being in crowded places where most tourists usually are. They disrupt the tourism, making tourists uncomfortable and affecting the economy for tourism. And that’s why Hawaiian government made laws likes the sit-lie ban, ensure they have absolute control over what the homeless can do in certain areas, and to basically kick them out of those populated areas in Waikiki. Homelessness is a growing problem in the islands, so housing should be a priority instead of banning them from certain areas.
Many people dislike the sit-lie ban, because it’s “not us”, and due to this, many people believe that housing should be a main for focus when solving for homelessness. “To urge government officials to do more to get people into housing, scrap homeless camp sweeps and half expansion of the city’s ‘sit-lie’ ban” (Paragraph 2) Now people despise the sit-lie ban is because it does not help the situation get any better for homelessness, and so, people believed that it is a good idea to house homeless people, instead of just kicking them out of certain areas. And thanks to the sit-lie ban, homeless people can’t be in one area, making having to move somewhere else, but this causes a problem at that other area that they won’t be welcome to. “Groups representing social service agencies... came together under the Housing Now Coalition and hand-delivered letters to Gov. David Ige… urging them to make affordable housing their top priority.” (Paragraph 6) The government, isn’t putting effort in housing despise the fact that people are urging them to do so. If by chance the government put thought into housing homelessness, and that would help a lot, because the homeless has a place to go, instead of wandering streets, causing problems for tourists and many other people.
It's just overflowing with homeless people and people are trying their best to support them. “People lined king street waving signs that read ‘Homelessness is not a crime’ ‘where's the aloha for homeless?’ and ‘repeal sit-lie ban now’” (Paragraph 3) The public is doing actions to support the homeless like sending the government letters to make better housing or donating things like Canned food for them. It is good for citizens of Hawaii to be making an effort, because they see the homeless as another person who was just struck down by the harsh truth of reality, So helping them is a priority. “The sit lie ban...is not us” (Paragraph ) Lots and lots of people are against the sit-lie ban, and are doing actions like rallying or sending letters to government to focus on housing instead. It's better to do housing instead of sit-lie, is because it discourages and basically bans them from certain areas? Forcing them to go somewhere else, causing yet more problems there. So therefore, people believe they should support the homeless instead of kicking them out,
Have anyone really stopped to think, “How does being homeless feel like”? “Dave Cannell, 62, explained how he and his wife and son went from a ‘middle class family’ in Kailua’ to homelessness ten years ago.” It's not good feeling, how Cannell describes his times spent homeless were awful and as if living as an outcast. One big issue he got wrapped up in possibly the economy of housing, because the prices of houses just keep rising, making it extremely difficult to get a home to permanently live in. “If you want to get your stuff stolen, go to a homeless shelter,... there wasn’t a night when there weren’t fights.” Most homeless shelters aren’t always the way they are supposed to be, since we have a bunch of homeless people just bunched up in one crowded area. That’s why housing is better, they have a better chance to have a place in society, since they could have an actual place to live than a run down warehouse they call a “shelter”
Since homelessness is increasing, housing should be a focus. And because of economic issues like housing, it makes more and more homeless people and the government making more and more useless bans like the sit-lie ban. Many who support for the homeless try to persuade the government into making housing a priority, so the homeless problem will get better instead of just kicking them out of certain areas of the island, for them to cause problems there. So therefore, homelessness is not a problem to turn a blind eye to, in this island, tourism is its main source of money nowadays. If however homelessness keep growing, it will be overpopulated with the homeless in the islands, mainly because housing and other necessities are expensive in the islands. If however, we make affordable housing and make everyone have a place to live, the result will be different, and lesser people will become homeless. It’s a problem we cannot throw away, but to face ourselves, we as humans need to learn that in order to rid of any problems we may have on our shoulders.
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I find that this essay is really well written. Your purpose is definitely felt, and it makes the reader want to take action after reading your lasting insight in your conclusion. Of course, with that kind of impactful message there should also equally be impactful reasoning and evidence for it. It's certainly there.
ReplyDeleteProbably the only problem that I have with the essay is conventions in the grammatical sense. There are quite a few errors like the accidental repeat of a word, incorrect spelling of a word, etc. that does somewhat distract the reader from the concept you actually want them to read and think about. Fixing those errors would make this a great essay.
In general:
-There are quite a couple grammatical and spelling errors here and there
-Fantastic introduction of quotes, great sentence fluency
-Good thesis, good content
-Personal comments are decently spaced out and go in sync with evidence/reasoning
-Purpose is definitely felt
-Coby
I like how your essay is good written and i can understand and appreciate your topic. Your purpose is evident and your topic is really effective and appropriate form. Your thesis is really focused and very clear. Your essay is fluency and i hear your voice while i am reading your story. You succeed in enlightening and persuading in your story
ReplyDeleteYOUR EVIDENCE IS THE WEAKEST OUT OF THE ENTIRE ESSAY. YOU NEED TO PROVE THAT THERE IS NO HOUSING BEING BUILT OR IN PLAN. AND ALSO NEED TO PROVE BANNING THEM DOESNT HELP THROUGH STATISTICS. YOUR THIRD BODY PARAGRAPH ALSO NEEDS TO BE MORE DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO HAWAII HOMELESS AND FACTS NEED TO BE STRONGER NOT JUST SOMEONE DISCUSSING THEIR EXPERIENCES. AS(2)
ReplyDelete